If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
