he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize