North Korea, Best Korea!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
