Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
