I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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