What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
