Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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