It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize