I'll bet she douches with gravy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
