Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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