im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
