if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
