is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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