hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
