smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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