Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is wine microwaveable?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
