i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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