Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
my poor anus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
