its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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