oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
