do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
