Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
