Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
