What a fucking waste of an outfit
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
