guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
