we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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