I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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