my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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