He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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