Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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