after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize