I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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