this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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