So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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