I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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