I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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