My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
