remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
