wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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