C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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