You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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