Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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