you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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