So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
