She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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