you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Drunk is a universal language darling
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
