If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
