hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
