3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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