chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
