Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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