If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
