I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
