We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
