new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
