Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
