Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
