i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
