there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
