What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
