I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize