youre lurking in front of me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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