HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
