Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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