i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
