I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize