If i come over, it means nothing
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize