Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
