I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
