I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Kiss
Puke
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
